Ranger Finger
The New Ranger Language You're certainly familiar with Ranger Language, the well-worn and traditional means of communication within the hallowed halls of Logan High. Now, though, there's a new beast in town. This new trend is sweeping the classes, spreading like wildfire, and forever changing the way Rangers communicate. What Ranger Finger Is The genius of this novel development lies in its simplicity. With a simple gesture of the central finger, one can convey the purest essence of one's feelings to their fellow schoolmate. Elegant in manner as well as in expression, it surely shan't be long before trend-setters around the globe start picking it up. A Step-By-Step Guide to Utilizing the Ranger Finger # Assertively hold your arm at a comfortable distance from your body # Form a clenched fist teeming with whatever hate, love, resentment, or disgust you wish to convey # Ensure that the back of your hand is facing your intended Ranger Finger-ee # In one vehement, meaning-filled motion, extend your central finger whilst maintaining the clenched fist # Make the requisite clenched face to enhance the message Variations on the Classic Ranger Finger As you become more comfortable, you may find yourself in need of more finesse and nuance in your Ranger Finger. You may want to consider using one of these tried and true variations: # The "I'm Too Good For You" ## Much like the Classic but classier and more uppity. ## Refrain from the customary "Fuck you" ## Fail to acknowledge the mere existence of the Finger-ee, as their existence is clearly not worth acknowledging. Whatever you do, DO NOT make any motion to suggest you find the Finger-ee worth anything more than a brief hand gesture. This includes turning the head, making faces, or following it up with the little heart finger thing, you stupid horny little teenage spitwad. 2. The "Nya nya nyaahhhhh" ## This, much unlike the "Too Good," is most safely utilized when the intended Finger-ee has no possible way of knowing that they are, in fact, an intended Finger-ee. It may be used in the awareness of the Finger-ee, but The Wiki claims no liability for any damages incurred in such a case. ## To correctly use a "Nya nya nyaahhhhh variant," proceed as with the Classic. ## However, at the climax of the gesticulation, screw your face up like you're trying to look like Colin Miller and say "Nya nya nyaahhhhh" (or mouth it if the Finger-ee is within earshot. 3. The "I'm Not Flipping You Off. Why Would You Think That?" ## This technique is the most subtle of them all. ## In this variant, the object is to conceal the gesture such that the gesturer can not be accused of attempting to use the Ranger Finger. ## Forget what you know. The government has spies everywhere. The walls have ears. Your only option is to ditch everything in favor of a gesture that just so happens to resemble the Ranger Finger. ## Popular facades include scratching one's nose, rubbing one's ear, or fingering one's chin stubble (or just their chin for all you ladies and pre-pubescent males). 4. The Double ## Honestly, how fucking stupid can you be? Just take a look at the name and figure it out, dumbass. The Ranger Finger in Action Here we see a classy ranger utilizing a well-placed Double "Too Good For You"